Should I make the decision now? Should I give us some more time? What could change at this point? If we stay together, will we be able to work through this? Is it too late to mend the damage? Should I wait until the kids are older? What will my family and friends think? What will people say about me?
A breakup is never easy; just making the decision can take months. What’s even harder is not going back on it. Of course, it depends on what the relationship was like and why it’s ending. However, when you part ways on good terms and it’s not a battle, it’s easy to tell yourself: “I’m going to stay; I won’t do this to my kids” or “Actually, it’s not that bad—he’s decided to change, and I won’t destroy the family I’ve built and always wanted.” In some cases, that can work, and I tip my hat to you. For me, it was impossible.
I completely reevaluated my life. He was trying to change, to understand my situation, and he did make some changes. However, the things that were adjustable were the small details on my list. The major issues that led me to make the official decision, unfortunately, couldn’t be changed so easily, and he wasn’t ready to do so. (In our situation, even if he’d wanted to, it would have meant moving, finding a new job, and so on.) That weighed heavily on my decision—I didn’t want to separate the children from their environment. So, even though my hesitation had resurfaced a few days earlier, I stood my ground and decided to stick with the choice I’d made: to separate.
There’s never a good time for this kind of life change, especially when children are involved. Don’t lose sight of the reasons behind your decisions, even if someone tries to talk you out of it. If you change your mind, that’s okay, but make sure it’s truly what you want. The important thing is to think about ourselves. We made this decision for our own well-being and so that we can be happy again.