Let’s face it, “bad moms” are all the rage these days. Honestly, I think it’s totally fine to talk about taboos and be honest about the fact that being a mom isn’t easy every day—that it’s not as rosy as people often make it out to be. After all, this need to justify ourselves and celebrate our imperfections comes from somewhere: we know we have our flaws and that sometimes, we’re not the best. We feel guilty because we always want to be the best mom in the world.
I want to try something different: what if, when we feel guilty, we tried instead to remember what makes us good moms? No, I’m not perfect. I very often forget my youngest’s vitamin D, I leave him in his crib for more than an hour, and my oldest can easily watch 5–6 episodes of Paw Patrol in a row.
But yes, there are days when I feel like I’m doing a damn good job.
For my part, when I see my big boy giving his brand-new little brother a hug, I’m proud. He’s understood that Mom and Dad still love him just as much, even though they’re now splitting their time with a baby.
When I see him run over to a friend who’s crying to give him a hug, I’m proud. He’s learned empathy.
When I hear him say “please,” “thank you,” and “that makes me happy”—at just two and a half years old—I’m proud. I’ve taught him manners.
When he offers me half of his fruit or chocolate without me even asking, I’m proud. I’ve taught him the joy of sharing.
When he asks me to tell him a story or I see him looking at a book in the car, I’m proud. I’ve passed on a love of reading to him.
When he wants to help me prepare a meal, I’m proud. I’ve given him a love of cooking.
When he gives us a lecture because he wants to put on his coat by himself, I’m still proud. He’s independent; he’s finding his own way.
When I see him smiling, laughing, or getting excited during an activity, I’m proud. I’m making him happy.
The more I think about it, the more I realize it doesn’t take much to be a good mom. Just watching my sons grow up—it warms my heart to think, no, to KNOW that I’ve played a part in it.
And you—what makes you such a darn good mom?