You’re raising your child almost entirely on your own, and you find it really tough at times. Your life feels dull and unfulfilling these days because everything revolves around your little one. You hide away at night to let out the tears you’ve held back all day so you don’t seem weak. You want to help everyone—be there for your partner, your friends, your family—but you forget about yourself way too often. When people offer to help, you almost always turn them down; you don’t want to bother anyone.
You feel like a really bad mom these days, because you don’t have the energy to go to the park anymore, or because you make hot dogs for dinner since it’s easier, or because you skip bath time—after all, you didn’t go to the park, so your child isn’t dirty.
Everyone around you subconsciously thinks there’s no way you could be struggling mentally. You’re always in a good mood, constantly cracking jokes, and seem to handle the day-to-day life of a single parent so effortlessly that no one ever doubts you.
But the day you really can’t take it anymore and exhaustion prevents you from functioning in front of everyone, your world comes crashing down… When your doctor tells you—you, the perfect mom—that you might be depressed, you don’t want to believe it. You’d much rather be told that you have anemia, diabetes, or some other physical condition that would explain why you’re so worn out. Everyone around you had unconsciously assumed it was impossible for you not to be okay, because you’re always in a good mood and patient with everyone. That’s the “sad clown” syndrome, my dear.
Listen to me. You have every right to feel bad; you don’t have to feel guilty for not constantly giving 500% to everyone. It’s just a rough patch—you’re not weak. Even if your child doesn’t eat spinach tonight, you’re a good mom. Even if your child spends an hour in front of the TV today so you can take some time for yourself, you’re a good mom. Even if you put their hair in a bun without brushing it—instead of a double-ponytail French braid with a twist and a flower—you’re a good mom. I believe in you.