When I look at mom groups—the comments they post, the beautiful words they share with each other—there’s one insult that seems to be universally agreed upon: “unfit mother”! Except in a movie title, those words should never be used. So, since we’re so quick to point fingers at each other, I’m going to share MY own story of being an “unfit mother.”
First of all, my daughter came out of my womb, and the very first drop she drank was formula. That’s right! And she never got any colostrum, breast milk, or all its SO many wonderful benefits!
“You’re feeding your child crap!”
“Only breast milk is good for her!”
You know what? I made the decision not to breastfeed for myself—and only myself! MY desire, MY well-being, MY mental health. Unfit mother!
Second, my daughter slept in her own bed—never in ours—and she never disturbed us during the few short hours of sleep my partner and I shared.
“She NEEDS you and NEEDS to sleep right next to you!”
“You HAVE TO sleep with her and listen to her NEEDS!”
Once again, I thought about my relationship with my partner, MY sleep. Unfit mother!
Then I let my daughter cry herself to sleep. When there’s nothing else you can do, there’s nothing else you can do! Waiting is the only option left. Unfit mother!
Then finally, my daughter started daycare at 6 months. Going back to work was so good for MY mental health and our wallet!
“A child needs its mother for as long as possible!”
“She’ll become emotionally detached!”
Well, yes, I’d rather have food on the table than stay home with my daughter. What an unfit mother!
You know what? My daughter is a very happy child; she’s really affectionate and loves us with all her heart. She has no anxiety, no fears, and certainly no mischief. She’s way ahead of her age and developing very well. Do you want to know why? Because we didn’t force her into a mold; we raised her our way, and we gave her what we believed was best for her. Why? Because we know what’s good for her—we’re her parents.
Well, I’m telling you—do the same! You’re in the best position to know what’s best for your child. Be proud of the choices you make, because your child will be proud of you. Stand by your decisions and proclaim loud and clear: “An unworthy mother—and proud of it!” That’s me, and I’m perfectly fine with the decisions I’ve made for MY child!