I have to admit that as I’m writing this, I’m hoping to get some tips and support because, phew… It’s hard! Why do the “terrible twos” even exist? Or all the other phases that come with the following years? How many times have I told myself, “It’s just a way to label problem kids, because parents don’t want to look like jerks”? NO! I just can’t believe that, aside from having oppositional defiant disorder at 23 months, my daughter is actually like this. It’s no longer a constant struggle… it’s much worse!
Without scaring pregnant women or those who haven’t reached this fateful age yet—or even those who are trying to conceive—I’d like to share MY definition of the “terrible twos,” hoping she’ll skip all the other stages and just move straight on to dealing with the dreaded teenage temperament! I hope that by the time she turns 3, I’ll get a break until she blows out 12 candles…
First off, the child in question decides that HE is the boss of the house! The child has decided that what you say no longer applies, and that any instructions he receives go right over his head. HE has decided that his food is going to the dog, and that’s non-negotiable—because otherwise, you’ll feel your walls shake from the sheer force of the sound his vocal cords will produce. HE has decided that whatever you put in the shopping cart, he can fiddle with it, play with it, and shove the bread under the case of liquor. NO WAY ARE YOU TAKING IT OUT OF HIS HANDS! Because if you do, the stares of ALL the perfect parents (who’ll never admit they’ve been through this) and the old grandmothers—who aren’t so eager to poke their fingers into those cute little cheeks anymore—will be fixed on you.
Every morning, I go to pick her up from her bed—she’s so peaceful, sitting there with her little smile. IT’S ALL A FACADE! It’ll still be hell in a few hours, and it’ll stay that way until she closes her pretty eyes. Because yes, even sleep is a battle—she plays, she laughs, she screams, she yells—and all this despite her little dark circles and her red eyes, which she rubs really hard. She doesn’t want to sleep. We keep repeating, repeating, and repeating again, even though she understands the instructions perfectly well, but she just does whatever she wants. It makes us raise our voices, because she’s testing our patience.
Actually, I sincerely hope she isn’t unhappy or even angry with us—we don’t like yelling at her—but sometimes it’s crazy how she just won’t listen to a thing! I’m sick of losing my patience!
Tell me, why does all this even exist? To help us or drive us crazy? Can’t all kids be little angels? Ah! I’m almost looking forward to her teenage years—it seems like it might not be so bad…