Editor’s Note: This article was written by a contributor and not by Maman Caféine.
Before becoming a mother, I knew there was a certain amount of judgment among parents and toward parents… but to be honest with you, I never would have imagined just how widespread the problem is! Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything with my child without feeling the accusing gaze of another person or society. Are we showing our child too much affection? We’ll make them emotionally dependent. Are we introducing solid foods too early? Our child will develop allergies. Do we let them use our cell phone from time to time? We’re the worst parents on Earth, and our child will never learn to read.
STOP!
Judgment after judgment after judgment—I’ve had enough. I’ve been turned off by Facebook parenting groups mainly because of this tendency to make passive-aggressive little comments that serve no purpose other than to make a parent who’s opening up and asking for advice feel guilty.
Credit: Jordan Whitt/Unsplash
And the judgment isn’t limited to online communities—it’s also at the park, the pool, during sports activities… in short, it’s everywhere! It amazes me to see so little parental solidarity when society already puts so much pressure on us. In a way, we’re all in the same boat, so why not help each other row instead of trying to sink one another?
Fortunately, it’s not all negative. Since having my little girl, I’ve also witnessed wonderful examples of solidarity and generosity among parents. I’ve read countless thoughtful pieces of advice in response to questions on various Facebook parenting groups. I’ve seen strangers smile empathetically at me in shopping malls when my little one had had enough and was screaming nonstop. These positive moments help me believe that all is not lost for the parenting community! If we can maintain our empathy and understand that we’re all facing different challenges—though similar at their core—I’m certain that the experience of parenting will be a little sweeter. So before you judge a parent next time, think twice!
Do you find that there’s a lot of judgment among parents and toward parents?