Let’s love our child just as they really are, without trying to change them and, above all, without letting others do so.
This all sounds vague, and I can hear myself responding, “Well, yeah, come on—you’re talking as if I were doing the opposite, or letting the people around me change my child. That’s impossible!”
Let me explain. First of all, every child is different, and so are their needs. Even at school, there’s a predefined mold, so if a child can’t fit into it, they feel different—and are sometimes excluded by their peers. They lose the desire and interest in learning, often withdrawing into themselves when, deep down, they have their own unique way of understanding things—one that simply requires more time and patience from their teachers.
So, who are we asking to change? The child. As a result, they lose their confidence and self-esteem. We turn a blind eye to this too often; we let other adults take control of their lives, in a way. I’m not saying that’s wrong, because if you fit the mold, you have plenty of friends, everything’s fine, and you learn without too much trouble. I believe we need to value differences more—they make the world more beautiful and unique.
As moms, we’re in a good position to accept this. We love our child from the very first glance, from the very first seconds. So why should we let them down and try to make them fall in line, like a little soldier? We want to see them happy, not struggling, constantly fighting against the current, and not being singled out or labeled for the rest of their lives.
Having a child who’s different is a blessing—a privilege—that allows us to help them surpass themselves and prove just how much they’re capable of.