5 years old. It’s time. The moment we’ve all been waiting for: My child is about to make their grand entrance into preschool! I must be the only mom who’s happy to receive her child’s school supply list and spend her entire paycheck on school supplies that surely won’t all be used (there are way too many!). Despite all these expenses, I’m happy, because I’ve always loved school and I want the same for my child.
For me, the start of the school year has always been synonymous with happiness and new beginnings—with renewal and positive change. When school starts, anything is possible! Now my daughter can finally experience it—her very first day of school! Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to be enjoying it as much as I am…
When I explained to her that we’d be leaving daycare soon, I didn’t get shouts of joy—just tears accompanied by “NO, NO, I DON’T WANT TO!”
When I took her to buy her “big girl” school supplies, it wasn’t smiles that lit up her face, but rather the pout of a disgruntled, sulky big girl.
When I congratulated her on being a big girl who’ll be starting school soon, she didn’t feel pride—she felt a deep sadness.
She’s sad. She doesn’t want to grow up; she doesn’t want to leave her comfort zone or the things she already knows. I understand her—change is hard, even for adults! However, I can’t help but worry about her. I want so much for her to love school and learning! I’d love for her to feel at home there, and I know it’s not easy for all children, so I’m afraid. I’m afraid she won’t find her place in a school system that can sometimes be too restrictive. I’m afraid she’ll hold onto this negative view of school and never be able to see it in a positive light. I’m afraid. Her whole future hinges on this small—yet very significant—first day of school. I understand, but I’m afraid.
So, when I talk to her about school and she cries, I hold her close, kiss her, and whisper, “My big girl, you’ll always be my baby and you can always come back to snuggle up to me, but don’t forget to use your wings and spread them wide—you’ll discover so many beautiful things outside your comfort zone!”