When you got pregnant, everyone started telling you what to do, what to eat. It annoyed you a little, a lot, or even to the point of frustration, and you thought that once the baby was born, people would leave you alone… Wrong! It just got worse and worse… Then, without even realizing it, you started doing pretty much the same thing… There were already signs during your pregnancy—you read everything there was to read about the nine months ahead of you and about childbirth, and you’ve known ever since what to do with a kid from age zero to 18 (or so you think, because those little monsters are brilliant and they throw a wrench in your plans better than the best NFL players).
The thing is, just being a good mom isn’t enough for you. Your boyfriend sometimes feels like he’s following an IKEA manual to take care of your little treasure, and every move he makes ends with a scolding or a sarcastic comment because you—yes, you—wouldn’t have done it that way…
Whenever possible, you lay out the best way to be a mom—your way!
You’re the mom who got an epidural as soon as she could; you’re the one who had a natural birth at home—you practically cut the cord with your teeth…
You’re the mom who breastfeeds discreetly or the one who protests while nursing her baby, megaphone in hand at the entrance to a shopping center that forced another mom to go to the restroom to breastfeed… You’re the one who feels guilty for giving a bottle because you were crying your eyes out day and night… You’re the one who gives him the bottle because that’s just how it is, period!
You’re the one who uses disposable diapers. No, cloth diapers are so much better—have you thought about the planet and your baby’s bottom? And blah, blah, blah…
You’re the one who makes her own baby food—what, baby food??? Baby-led weaning is the best, period!
You’re the one who put your baby in their own room right from birth because you want your privacy; you’re the one who co-sleeps because your baby needs their safe space.
You’re the one who took short maternity leave and gave some weeks to Dad because you make more money and because you really couldn’t wait to get out of the house and have a little time to yourself…. You’re the one who finally came to an agreement with your boyfriend because you want to stay home until the kids are older…
You’ve become a bit intense somewhere between morning sickness and the arrival of the apple of your eye… You want to be sure you’re doing it right, and it reassures you to remind everyone that you’ve got it all figured out, because people’s comments really get to you…
The catch is that motherhood doesn’t last forever… Before you know it, breastfeeding is a thing of the past, and so is co-sleeping (thank goodness…). Life is far too short to want to impose our ideas on others—and especially to cut ourselves off from people who don’t think exactly like us…
Having a natural birth or breastfeeding isn’t an end in itself—it’s just one way of doing things. And once the kids are grown, we realize that life goes on beyond all the personal choices we may have made. We realize that in the end, all that remains are our children—simply our children, whether they were breastfed or not, whether they wore disposable or cloth diapers… Beautiful, grown-up children who couldn’t care less about all those details and who, even if you weren’t the best mother, wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world… So just relax a little, Mom—your baby won’t even remember any of this by the time they get married!