Before I begin, I need to make it clear right away that I’m all for breastfeeding. I know all the benefits it offers the baby and understand that it creates a bond between the infant and his or her mother. I would never dispute these facts—since I’m not a scientist and have even experienced exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, I’d be in no position to do so.
I’ll just add one caveat, even though it’s what’s best for children and even though moms want, from the bottom of their hearts, to give their children the very best. It might not work out. The lovely, magical phrase: “Keep at it—your body will adapt to the baby’s needs.” Um… no. Or at least not automatically.
With my first child, we really tried. Throughout my entire stay in the hospital, more than one nurse massaged my breasts and pinched my nipples in an effort to get my son to drink that sweet milk produced by my mammary glands. I barely slept during my three days in the hospital, and it wasn’t until I got home—with a little guy screaming his head off—that I resigned myself to opening a bottle of infant formula, which I’d kept as a last-resort alternative. Once I’d come to terms with not being able to breastfeed exclusively, feeding my baby went like a charm. I’d pump my milk with my breast pump (I really loved that feeling of being a dairy cow), fill half a bottle, and top it off with formula.
Ha! I tried to persevere after a conversation with a breastfeeding mentor who told me not to give up, that my body would produce more. After drinking fennel tea, taking fenugreek tablets, the famous domperidone, and spending a whole day feeding my baby only my breast milk (one hour of breastfeeding followed by one hour of rest), I came to a practical conclusion. My body might simply not have been built for 100% exclusive breastfeeding.
With my second child, I was luckier. I could never list the exact reasons. Was it because she’s a girl, because she was born lighter than my son, or because my body adapted? Was it a poor latch with the first one, or some other unknown reason? But I succeeded. I was able to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months. I’ve had both experiences, and personally, I didn’t feel that my bond with my daughter was stronger because I was breastfeeding her.
When I gave my son a bottle, I’d hold him as close to me as possible and take all the time in the world to watch him, cuddle him, and kiss him. We’d look into each other’s eyes, and I could tell he already understood that I was HIS mom.
P.S.: Breastfeeding is great—sometimes you have to stick with it—but a happy mom giving a bottle is always better than an overwhelmed mom breastfeeding. Let’s respect everyone’s choices!
Valérie Louise Pesant