I have to admit that as soon as I gave birth to my daughter, people around me started asking me, “So, do you want another one?”
Even my husband seemed ready for a second one already! He’d fallen in love with our Maëlie at first sight and was ready to experience that all over again. As for me, I thought to myself: Hold on a second, please!
The delivery, despite how long it took and the fact that I went from 1.5 cm to 10 cm in an hour, went smoothly. I loved the experience and would do it again in a heartbeat.
However, I don’t see pregnancy the same way. I started having ovarian cysts at 5 weeks. The doctor told me he might have to operate around 15 weeks into the pregnancy if they hadn’t gotten smaller. Why at 15 weeks? Because I’d be less likely to lose my baby at that stage… You should know that before this pregnancy, we had already lost a baby. I was absolutely terrified. In the end, the cysts shrank, and I was able to get back to living a normal life.
A little later, around 18 weeks, I started bleeding. It was enough to make us panic. After some tests at the maternity ward, I was told that it was just some blood vessels that had burst. There was no reason to worry.
Then came the contractions. For weeks, I spent my evenings at the maternity ward dealing with contractions. However, my cervix remained tightly closed, so the doctors weren’t very concerned. Then, at 32 weeks pregnant, during a checkup at the maternity ward, they realized that my cervix had dilated to 1 cm, even though an hour earlier it had been completely closed. So they had to stop my labor. I received those famous shots in my buttocks to help my daughter’s lungs develop more quickly. After that, I was put on bed rest.
During a routine visit with my doctor at the end of my 36the Last week, I explained to him that I spent all my time scratching. It was so intense that it was keeping me awake. I was so tired. He sent me for some tests, and at the hospital, they told me everything looked fine, but that I needed to take some medication to relieve the itching and come back for more tests 48 hours later. Without asking too many questions, I went to see the doctor, who told me that I’d been prescribed medication for pregnancy-related cholestasis. Yet the doctor seemed to imply that I didn’t have that condition… I took the medication for only two days and went back for more blood tests. A little while after the test, I overheard the nurse on the phone with my doctor. She was saying that the results were exactly the same as last time. So I figured everything was okay. Makes sense, right? Two hours later, the OB-GYN told me I had pregnancy-related cholestasis and that they would have to induce labor.
They stopped my labor at 32 weeks, and then they had to induce me at 37 weeks. I was in shock. I even heard the OB/GYN mention to the nurse that I seemed really surprised by the situation.
You know the rest—I had a beautiful little girl.
I know full well that my family isn’t complete yet. We want a second child, but I’m not ready to go through that stress again—not knowing if the pregnancy will go to term. I also don’t want to have to stay in bed for months without being able to take proper care of Maëlie.
I tip my hat to those moms who manage to do it.
Despite everything, I enjoyed feeling that life growing inside me. Every little kick was reassuring and made me smile. Even though it was stressful and difficult, I loved being pregnant, and I realize how lucky I was to be able to conceive a baby.
A second pregnancy might not be an option for me. However, there are other options available to us. We just need to keep an open mind. And besides, there are plenty of children looking for loving, devoted parents. Maybe the one for us is waiting for us…