My father doesn't love me. That's really the impression I have of him, and my partner has the same impression.
He clearly prefers my younger brother over me—it’s obvious.
Unlike my brother, my father and I have nothing to say to each other. The proof is that we call each other once a month—on our birthdays, Christmas, Father’s Day—and that’s it.
He’s seen my daughter twice in the seven months since she was born.
I never had a grandfather, and I would have loved to have known them.
My dad keeps his distance—but why?
He says he’s very busy living his life as a near-fifty-year-old adult. Work, rest, camping, DIY projects and renovations—you name it!
He was 23 when I was born, and I was 23 when my daughter was born. Naively, I thought that would bring us closer together. Yes, we live nearly a two-hour drive away, but my mother lives just as far away, and she welcomes us with open arms.
Is it possible that my dad has issues or repressed feelings that I’m not aware of? Is he afraid, or would he feel obligated to have us over? His partner is so wonderful—super friendly and always eager to catch up with us. Yet she herself seems to have drifted away from her own children.
In my opinion, you’re a parent for life, and despite the distance, career differences, social outings, and the “it doesn’t matter” attitudes, you have to stay connected in some way.