When you’re in your early twenties and Aunt Lise asks you what you want to do when you grow up, you tell her that your main goal is to be happy by having a job you’re passionate about. You dream of having healthy kids. One, then two. Maybe three or four. And a house with a garage and a pool. In your mind, you picture a two-story house with a big patio for having parties with your friends. Ah! ... And having a steady partner to share it all with. You also want to be able to get around in something other than an old clunker.
So you start “swiping” through people on dating sites and getting discouraged. You’re not too sure you like the whole concept. You remember that Aunt Denise told you her cousin from way out in the sticks met his wife at the grocery store. So you grab a shopping cart and head to the grocery store, hoping to find “the man for you.” (I thought it sounded more international in English!) Finally, you meet a potential match at a dinner party your friend organized. There, you tell him everything you’d listed for Aunt Lise. He agrees, give or take a few details. It’s a match! He’s not much of a swimmer, so he doesn’t care about having a pool. Hang in there, girl—you’ll get your pool.
You’re studying to become an interior designer. You have a pretty decent car. You start looking at houses.
Then you finish your course. You’re still happy with your boyfriend, and you’ve made an offer on a three-bedroom house. You’re feeling a bit restless.
Then one day, while talking to your mom, you tell her your period is late and you have lower abdominal pain. A week later, you take a pregnancy test, and two little lines appear. You’re going to be parents!
A few years later, you’re in your thirties. You have two kids, a house, good jobs, two cars, and a dog. You’re completely fulfilled. All the goals you wanted to achieve have come true...
So now what?
What’s the next project?
Are you changing jobs? Are you moving? Are you traveling?
What about you—have you asked yourself these questions? What’s our next shared project as a couple?
Audrey