You met your man—true, unconditional love. Knowing he’s in the military, you tell yourself it won’t be that bad. But a soldier’s wife must be ready to make sacrifices and accept this lifestyle. Even if we don’t choose who we fall in love with, we fall in love anyway.
You’ve accepted that the routine you share with your partner is disrupted the moment he leaves—whether for a week or six months. You have to find a way to create a new one. Just when you’ve gotten organized and things are going well, your partner comes back. It’s back to square one. It’s quite a vicious cycle.
You’ve also accepted that your bed will be cold for a few days or weeks during training exercises, or for months during missions. The kids or the dog take your partner’s place, because you can’t bear to be alone in a bed that feels so big and empty.
When you decided to be with this man, you also chose his profession. Whether he’s a combat engineer, an artilleryman, or a clerk, you accepted the possibility that something might happen to him. You signed up for several “contracts” without really realizing it: to become a caregiver if he comes back with something missing, or to become a single mother after laying him to rest.
You’ve also accepted that you’ll have to learn to manage your emotions so you don’t have a panic attack just because there’s no milk in the fridge—simply from thinking about your man being far away from you. Especially if you’re pregnant and wondering if he’ll be back in time for the birth… especially since you often risk having to go to your prenatal appointments alone.
You’ve also chosen to be shuttled back and forth across the country—or even abroad. You have no say in which province or city you’ll be sent to. Every time, it’s back to square one: new house, new job, new daycare, new school, and a new social circle. Sometimes, you decide that your partner will commute three hours so your family can stay in the same city, reassuring yourself that it won’t be so bad for a year or two.
You’ve also accepted that your career won’t be with the same company for 25 years. There’s a chance you’ll end up doing a job where your education doesn’t amount to much.
In short, you have to constantly adapt…
Sometimes, the people around you don’t understand what you’re going through. That’s normal, because this life isn’t for everyone.
Don’t forget, during tough times, that life won’t always be like this—it’s just a phase. Tell yourself that even though he may be the soldier, you’re the warrior in the relationship.