It’s with a heavy heart, a lump in my throat, and a tear about to fall that I’m writing this. Right now, I’m watching my daughter; she’s playing on the rug and getting frustrated with a box from our recent move. She’s so cheerful, so smart, so bright—and so much more. I’m proud of her, and I love the days I spend with her—except maybe when her only “hobby” of the day is screaming her head off as if she were being cut in half; on those days, I’d gladly go back to work.
Wait a minute—that’s exactly what’s happening right now. After a long, crazy, wonderful, and challenging year, I have to go back to work to make money to feed this little being whom I spent a year shaping, creating, and watching grow. Since I had to take my maternity leave early, I’m going back to work early! Élody, 6 months old, is starting daycare.
I didn’t think I was capable of getting emotional or crying. I used to tell myself, “Why do women cry? They’ll see their child again—she hasn’t gone away forever, just for eight hours!” Well, when I got the call telling me I’d been hired, I cried, because I had to start in just a few weeks!
This morning, I’m heading to work, and my boyfriend will be the one to take her to daycare. This morning, I have to leave this long half-year behind me—this half-year of being with her 24 hours a day, every day. This morning, I have to spend eight hours without her. And when I walk into her daycare provider’s house when I get back, you know what? I’m going to hug her so tight and give her all the love I used to give her during those eight hours!
So, as I was saying, I never would have thought I was capable of so many emotions, but know that what you’re feeling is common. When it’s time to get back to normal and to your routine, you’ve just spent all these months glued to your baby, meeting all her needs, and being the only person she’ll ever be able to count on. You have to leave a part of yourself at daycare, and that’s hard! In short, you have every right to cry, to scream, to let your emotions out. Getting back to normal is a tough ordeal to go through—and it will be for your child, too. But you’ll get through this together and make the most of it when you have days off or on evenings after those long days.
Élody is at daycare and she’s doing wonderfully—she’s learning new things, discovering new ways to grow, and, most importantly, seeing new faces. She must have been sick and tired of seeing my face every single day! Now she’s thriving through new adventures, and she always comes back to us even better than she already was. I continue to be proud of her and to love her.
A difficult—but necessary—return to normal!