I work in an essential service, and honestly, I’m looking forward to going back to work. Being a full-time mom to a baby takes a toll on a woman’s morale. At some point during my maternity leave, I started looking forward to being more than just a mom. Not because I don’t love my daughter! Far from it! It’s more that I was looking forward to regaining a certain level of adult social interaction as a woman. I live far from my family and friends, so for me, socializing happens largely through work. Even though social media exists, there’s nothing better than real human connection.
On the other hand, my job means I have to work a lot of mandatory overtime due to staff shortages. I was dreading going back to work and having to stay for a 16-hour shift three or four times a week. There aren’t really any limits to the infamous “TSO.” In short, even without the pandemic, I was dreading going back to work.
Two weeks before my return, BAM! The coronavirus brought the country to a standstill, leaving us in limbo for several weeks of uncertainty. On one side, money; on the other, health. Preventive measures in my workplace haven’t taken effect yet. I’m anxious! Because I’m afraid of contracting COVID-19 and passing the virus on to the two most precious people in my life.
Unfortunately, my daughter will have to go to daycare because my partner also works in an essential service. I don’t want to go to work and have to drop my daughter off at daycare—for the simple reason that she won’t be the only child whose parents work in an essential service. I’m already dreading the first morning I’ll have to leave her at daycare to go to work. I don’t have a Plan A, B, or C. I just have Plan D: the plan to go to work and use emergency childcare.
I’m going to try to enjoy the last few days of my parental leave before heading to the front lines, while the rest of the world is on pause.