A friend asked me this: “Are you able to step away from your role as a mom?” I started to question my role as a mother… what exactly is a mother’s role? After some thought, here’s my answer:
Before we’re moms, what are we? A WOMAN! So why do we suddenly become moms overnight when, at the start, we’re first and foremost women? To be happy, we have to stay women. And to be a woman, we need a man (or a woman, for some) who makes us feel like a WOMAN and nothing else.
To feel like a woman, you also have to think about yourself. My little one is 6 months old, and I’m already thinking about my future career. Why? Because I know that if I have a job I’m going to love, I’ll be a good mom. Because I’ll start out “happy and a woman.” Go ahead and throw stones at me if you want, tell me that my baby will only be little once in his life and that I should enjoy him because it all goes by too fast… As for me, I’m enjoying my baby, but I’m at the point where my career is also very important.
Yes, my baby is still little, but why “turn down” an opportunity just because the baby is still little? First and foremost, I’m a woman—I was one before I held him in my arms—so why should I give up my role as a woman and not think about myself and my own happiness…? As a woman, I’ll be able to find and enjoy quality time with my baby, with my little ones… it’ll be less in quantity, but more in quality. And quality is what matters most.
In short, I’m telling you, girl, quite simply, that when we feel like women, we can fulfill our role as moms with flying colors. And yes, for some, it’s simple. The role of mother and that of woman are two different things, and those women are able to tell the difference. On the nights they go out, whoever’s left with the kids will manage just fine, and she’ll truly unplug. And that’s a good thing for them! I commend them, because they’re able to step away from the role of mom.
I’m that kind of mom. I need to be a woman first and foremost! I’m not afraid to say, “Tonight, I’m taking a break—figure it out yourselves!” It feels so good to be able to switch off and tell myself, “Tonight, I’m only thinking about myself.” That doesn’t mean I won’t have my little darlings on my mind during the evening; it doesn’t mean I won’t text my boyfriend or my mom to check if my kids are asleep or if they’ve taken their antibiotics… it just means that, for one night, I’ll drink wine, chat with my friends about something other than motherhood, have absolutely no idea what time I’ll get home, or what I’ll look like tomorrow morning. And that, girl, is really important. Don’t lose sight of yourself in your role as a mom… don’t forget to feel beautiful and free… and above all, get out… get out of the house… think about yourself, if just for one simple little night out. You need it to be the best mom you already are.