Having children who are all different really teaches us a thing or two about humility, if you’ll please! Of my four children, three have autism, and while they each have their own personalities, they share one thing in common: they have no filter. The beauty of it is that they don’t hold back from being who they want to be. They don’t put on a facade just to please others. Their world is different from ours—sometimes it’s obvious, other times it isn’t.
One of my sons really stands out from the crowd. He sometimes speaks in a made-up language, experiences his emotions to the extreme all the time, flaps his hands like a butterfly, speaks loudly, breaks into funny dances, and laughs at the most random moments. In short, he attracts attention when we’re out and about—I can tell you that much. I find him beautiful and wonderful just as he is, but my heart aches every time I see him trying to connect with other kids his age. He’s clumsy, and we try to give him the right tools to introduce himself properly, but this concept is difficult for him. So, he’ll walk up to a child all excited, shouting “HI!” and start clapping his hands without looking the person in the eye. It’s always the same. The children look at him questioningly and move even further away. My son will try to approach them to play, but the children will move even further away. Sometimes they laugh at him. Sometimes it’s the parents who get angry at him. I’ve even heard a mom say, “Don’t play with him—he’s weird.” It breaks my heart every time—and his, too. He would love so much to have friends.
So, I’d like to encourage you to teach your children about differences. Teach them that it’s just as normal. That some children are born with differences and that they’re just as extraordinary. They don’t have to play with him if they don’t want to, but they can give a friendly “Hi” in return. They can politely ask him to be quiet. That even if he seems a little different, they can talk to him and ask his name and age. Let your children ask their questions when they run into him and are curious—it makes me so happy when children try to understand!
Teach your children to treat everyone with love, regardless of how they look or what label they might have. Teaching respect for differences also means allowing your children to think outside the box. For example, I let my son go out wearing his favorite sequined dress; I let my daughter put on makeup and we go to the store without washing it off; I let my oldest choose her own clothes, even if they don’t match at all, and she goes to school just like that.
Because autism isn’t contagious, and it isn’t dangerous. Autism is simply seeing and understanding life differently. They’re still children with emotions and a desire to connect with others, even if they do so in a strange and direct way. I sincerely dream of a more tolerant Quebec, and I believe we’ll get there one heart at a time.
Alexe AKA Maman Bleue