Over the past few years, the diagnoses have come in. There are still a few more to come. At just 9 years old, you’re already dealing with all these big, fancy terms: hypersensitivity, motor dyspraxia, generalized anxiety disorder, sensory processing disorder, giftedness, explosive disorder, Tourette syndrome, and so on. You often have to miss school for appointments with the psychologist, child psychiatrist, pediatrician, doctor, social worker, the school’s special education teacher, the CLSC’s special education teacher, the psychoeducator, the occupational therapist... You see all these people around you. All these people trying to help you.
But I see it—your loneliness, despite all that support. I see it—the sadness in your eyes. I see that as you get older, you’re also coming to understand how different you are. I see the weight you carry on your shoulders. Even though I tell you that in life, everyone is different, I can see that you understand that the differences between people are much smaller than your own difference. I can see that your difference is so heavy to bear.
Despite your tantrums, your crying, our arguments, the mean things you say to me don’t hurt me. Because I love you from the bottom of my heart. Because I wanted you, I carried you, and I gave birth to you. Because you’re my baby, who was perfect. Because I’m trying as hard as I possibly can to lighten the load on your tiny shoulders. Because your father and I work so hard to keep you from seeing our distress over the lack of services, the endless waiting lists, and our unfamiliarity with all those famous scientific terms.
And you know what? It doesn’t change a thing for us. We’ve loved you unconditionally ever since you were born. You haven’t changed. You’re still that same little boy I love so much. Ever since you were born, we’ve been fighting to protect you, guide you, and help you thrive. The diagnoses have given us the weapons to win this battle, and we’re going to come out on top.
As for you, just be a kid. Have fun. Enjoy your life. We’ll fight for you. And we’ll do everything we can to lighten the burden on your shoulders. Let us know when you’re struggling; talk to us. We’ll always be here—just as we have been since the day you were born. Because we love you even more than you can imagine.