I think my daughter is wonderful. At just five years old, she’s beautiful and has such a bubbly personality. With only five short years under her belt, she doesn’t understand what a stereotype is. My daughter can skateboard while wearing a princess dress. She practices doing ninja moves while listening to Les Pouliches. Sometimes, she and her brother swap clothes and pretend to be each other. She just wants to be herself and doesn’t even realize when someone is giving her a weird look because she starts doing a dance routine in the store aisle.
I’ve asked her to change her shirt because it didn’t match her pants. I’ve asked her to tie her hair back under the pretext that I’m tired of seeing it in her eyes, but in reality, I just think it looks prettier that way.
I just got back from the store. I saw a gorgeous dress there that I fell in love with. I love the colors and didn’t want to put it back on the rack—just like a little girl. I tried it on and thought, “Wow!!!” While I was trying it on, someone pointed out that it seemed to accentuate my curves—that it didn’t really make me look slimmer. I don’t care—I think it’s beautiful, so I’m buying it anyway, BUT… that comment keeps echoing in my head. I told myself, “Who cares!” What’s with this idea that we absolutely have to look thin? I tried it on again once I got home. I looked at myself in the mirror, and that phrase kept ringing in my ears. All of a sudden, I didn’t think it was as pretty anymore, so I put it back in the bag, telling myself I’d go return it.
Then I started thinking: so what if it accentuates my curves? I DO have curves, and I’m beautiful just the way I am. Why would I want to hide them? And let’s say I look like a sack of potatoes—if I want to wear it just because I love the colors, what difference does that make in anyone’s life? Well, you know what? I pulled it out of the bag, and I told myself I was going to wear it to my sister’s huge party the next day—and if anyone said to me, “Just saying, that dress doesn’t flatter you,” well, I was going to reply, “I know!!! But the colors are beautiful, and I love it, so I’m wearing it anyway!”
If I want my daughter to keep loving herself just as she is, if I want her to keep not caring about other people’s opinions, I tell myself that maybe I need to lead by example. If we want standards to change, maybe we need to stop tolerating them in our own lives.
My dear, you who are reading this: you are beautiful! You are you, and no one else is you! Want to go to the convenience store in your pajamas? GO! Feel like putting on that lipstick even though it’s not really your style, but you’d like to anyway? GO! You are beautiful, you are precious, you are a princess no matter what!
So… let me tell you, I totally rocked that gorgeous dress!
(Drop the mic)